How I Learned to Stop Comparing Myself to Others

If you catch yourself comparing yourself to others thinking, ‘they are more talented/more experienced/have a better education’, relax, it is quite normal and at times these comparisons can be helpful.


a mobile phone and a lipstick on a desk
Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Comparisons can give you a blueprint for improvement and inspire you to change.


However, at other times, comparisons can be a means through which you pick yourself apart and see everything (that you believe) is wrong with yourself. Research has found that negatively comparing yourself with others breeds feelings of envy, low self-confidence and depression.


The good news is that once you notice it, you can learn to put measures in place and stop comparing yourself to others. Here are my favourites for you to choose from:

  • Reinstate your confidence by listing your achievements over the last five years.

  • Make a list of your signature strengths.

  • Have fun with the process of achieving your goal.

  • Be and stay curious to keep stress from taking over.

  • Start practicing daily gratitude and list at least one thing you are good at.

  • Ask yourself, ‘What exactly do I compare myself/my business to?’



Measures such as these will help you to interrupt destructive patterns of focusing on your shortcomings and the reasons for why you should not take a chance on something new


like start writing a book, apply for that new position, be part of that exciting cross-division project at work, or propose a new training video with you starring in it.


Rather than dwelling on your shortcomings and having the worst-case scenario and potential failure in mind, use the comparisons in a positive way. Ask yourself these types of questions: How did that person start writing their book? How did other established video bloggers evolve? And what can I learn from them?


And finally get support from a community of family, friends and interest groups, or look into re-skilling.


Please feel free to connect for further discussion on how I can support you in accelerating change in your life. As your coach, I will be just like your sports instructor in supporting you to gain clarity and structure and help you to achieve your goals.



Iris – Your Transformation Coach

I-YTC is about maximising and sustaining the wellbeing and performance of individuals and organisations in harmony with their environment.